PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 367: LIVING THE BLISSFUL LIFE, No. 1 - HOW DO YOU SMILE WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE SMILING?
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 367: LIVING THE BLISSFUL LIFE, No. 1
HOW DO YOU SMILE WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE SMILING?
My daughter, Pearl Barrett (Trim Healthy Mama) talks with us today about the power of smiling, and the benefits to our health and longevity. Is it wrong to “fake it ‘til we make it”? How can we accomplish this in the midst of the challenges of life?
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies. I’m so excited today, because I have my daughter, Pearl, with me, Pearlie-Werl. Pearl is now a grandmother. of course, but I still call her Pearlie-Werl. It’s so great to have you here, Pearl.
Actually, I have been wanting to do this podcast since Christmas time. Remember, we had our “Christmas Cup of Tea” with Kate. This is a special tradition that we have every year. My sister, Kate, puts on this most amazing “Christmas Cup of Tea.” She always has Pearl and Serene to sing and then lead us in carols.
Also, at every “Christmas Cup of Tea” there’s always sharing. At this last one, Pearl was sharing about smiling. It was so exciting. I’ve been wanting her to come and do this. Now, here we are in June, six months later! But life is so full and everything’s happening.
Pearl: But it’s good, Mom, because now I get to remind myself of it. Because halfway through the year, we all need reminders, right?
Nancy: We need reminding quite a lot of this subject, don’t we? But before we get onto the subject, I thought I would read you a couple of poems. I think they’ll make you smile, because we’re going to talk about smiling. These are some poems I wrote about Pearlie, Pearlie-Werl, when she was young. Now I’ve written lovely, nice poems about her. These really sort of expose her childhood. But I think you’ll think that’s so funny, and they’ll make you smile.
What have I got here? This one is called “Those Freckles.” Wow, did you know that Pearlie once had freckles? Well, let’s hear about them.
She was our little freckle face,
But wasn’t she so cute?
Those freckles were her special hate,
That we can’t refute!
Her teenage years were spent in buying
Anti-freckle creams,
Or making special potions,
Every concoction, by all means!
It was her nightmare day and night
To rid herself of spots,
Her thoughts and plans were taken up
To beat those freckle blots!
Although we lived in the Gold Coast sun
Right by the sea,
She would not even go to the beach,
Except late at night for tea.
She would not go outside the door
Without sunglasses and her hat,
She kept herself fully covered
In case one freckle might come back!
But now today all her freckles are gone,
Not one can you see!
No-one would believe that this was her face,
When she was only wee!
Love from Mother, Written 22nd March 1994
Do you remember those days?
Pearl: [laughter] Yeah, I remember! Oh, so many things! I remember making lemon juice and oatmeal like paste and smearing it on my face. As soon as I’d wash it off, I’d smear it on again, because once wasn’t good enough. I had to try and bleach my face. I do have freckles still. They’re just light.
Nancy: But you can’t see them today! They have faded. [laughter]
Pearl: Actually, now I like freckles. But I hated them!
Nancy: Yes, well, here’s one more. And this is called “Peeping Pearl.”
Our Pearlie was an inquisitive little girl,
All the family information she had to unfurl,
Every tiny bit of gossip, every little bit of news,
She could not miss on any, not one bit would she lose . . .
Our prying,
Peeking,
Peeping,
Pearl!
We’d walk out of the doorway and a shadow would disappear,
What was that? Yes, it was our Pearlie in the rear,
She’d been listening at the keyhole to try and catch each word,
What secrets has she gained this time? Oh, what has she heard?
Our prying,
Peeking,
Peeping,
Pearl!
The keyhole wasn’t the only place she did her spying work,
The garage where the ‘shed boys’ slept was her special perk,
She’d slip unseen underneath the bed, ready for when they’d wake,
And talk about their escapades and the plans they were going to make . . .
Our prying,
Peeking,
Peeping,
Pearl!
She has even been known to crawl under their car,
To make sure she got the gossip from near and from far,
And listened while the guys talked about the youth,
I think she should have been a priest, with a confession booth . . .
Our prying,
Peeking,
Peeping,
Pearl!
Love from Mother, Written May 1994
Pearl: I’m not proud of that! [laughter] But I think it carried on my quest for information, it just kind of went in a different way as I got older. I became a researcher and that quenched that thirst for knowledge.
Nancy: Just maybe that was there all the time. You had to find out things.
Pearl: I did!
Nancy: Of course, you all know Pearl. Pearl and Serene of Trim Healthy Mama fame. I’m so blessed, and you are so blessed to have Pearl with us today. Now, Pearlie, I want you to start talking about this smiling, because not everybody feels like smiling all the time. But smiling actually has such a powerful effect upon our lives. What do you say?
Pearl: Yeah, we’re going to talk about that today, like research-wise, what I found out about, what does science say? Like, if you have to put on a smile when you don’t feel like it. But really, this is kind of personal for me, because that day that you talked about at Auntie Kate’s “Christmas Cup of Tea” I was thinking about the New Year coming.
AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
I thought, “What is my New Year’s Resolution? And I’m not a big resolution person. I’m just like, “Hey, I’m doing these things anyway. I don’t want to set a resolution and then fail.” But I had this really, it was like a strong passion in me to truly live in gratitude, which is different from being grateful.
Where I wanted to show that most, actually, was with my husband. I thought to myself, “If someone is grateful, I can think grateful thoughts.” And I had my gratitude list. I’d go to bed at night, I’m giving thanks to God, because He tells us to, not because He needs it, but because He knows it’s good for us, right, as our Creator.
But I thought, “What does a person do who lives truly in gratitude? What do they do?” Well, they smile, because you can’t be resentful and grateful at the same time. It’s impossible. You have to choose one or the other.
We live in human bodies with human thoughts . . . I’m sure other women do, too, but I’ll just be honest. I can suddenly get a list of wrongs about my husband so quickly with my perspective. And he’s a great guy! But suddenly, it’s my lens. I can start listing the things I’m a little bit miffed about. I thought, “But if I’m truly grateful, I’m focusing on that, and I am sowing it.”
I thought, “What would happen?” And I had this example of someone living in my house at the same time. I could clearly see the difference between her and me. My husband and I have been married 31 years now. And we have a good marriage, but I think somehow, I was taking who he was for granted.
This young woman, Satorey is her name. She works at the Trim Healthy Café, and she’s kind of my daughter-in-law. Her sister came over from Japan. She’s half-Japanese and half Australian. (* I explain at the end). Well, I just noticed something about her. She’d work at our café, and I watched her serve the customers. As she talked, she smiled when she talked. When she would come home and I’d ask about her day, she would wear this smile.
Now she wasn’t constantly a happy person, but she had this fascinating thing about her, and I realized what it was. What it was, when she talked, her whole face lifted, and she kept this smile. I realized, “Oh my goodness! I want to be like Satorey! I’m going to try it out!”
And especially, honestly, there’s a little bit of vanity to it, too, because a smile is our greatest face-lift. As we get older, our faces drop, so I started studying about what a smile actually does. I started practicing this smiling thing when I was talking, like Mom. This is not on you, this is not visual, but maybe you can hear it. Mom, ask me how my day was.
Nancy: Now, how was your day today, Pearlie?
Pearl: I’m going to do it without a smile. Maybe how I would talk to my husband, like, he’d say, “Honey, how was your day?”
“Well, I had meetings, and I worked out. What else did I do? Oh yeah, I had to make all these foods. It was a busy day.”
Nancy: OK. Shall I ask you again?
Pearl: How did I look?
Nancy: Boring. [laughter]
Pearl: My face is not really present when it doesn’t smile, I realized. I don’t have a pleasant resting face. I analyzed myself in the mirror. So, ask me again.
Nancy: Now, Pearlie, what did you do today?
Pearl: “So, I had a lot of meetings. I had to make all these recipes. I worked out. It was a really busy day.”
Nancy: Wow! You looked, by look of your face, it was the most amazing day!
Pearl: Do you like me better?
Nancy: Oh, yes! I like you anyway! [laughter] It’s quite transforming. We really need . . .
Pearl: I know! But I ask everyone to stand in front of the mirror and try it. I started doing this when my husband asked me something. Well, just responding to him in any way, I realized I wasn’t smiling. This is like a joke or something. Unless we were talking about one of the grandchildren.
So, I started practicing this, and you know what I noticed? He started really smiling back at me and cracking jokes. He thought I was in this good, receptive, good mood, and his mood . . . He’s not like a big laughter guy or anything, but the whole atmosphere in our home started to be more light-hearted. I’m kind of glad I’m here six months in, because I want to remind myself of it, and share about some of the actual health benefits today.
Nancy: Yes, well, you know now, I think one of the most beautiful things in our marriage relationship is to smile at one another. I love sometimes just to look at my husband and just smile at him.
Pearl: You’ve always done that.
Nancy: But when I smile at him, and then he smiles back at me, and we just fall in love all the more together. It is amazing. Smiles are so powerful!
Pearl: I watched you do that throughout the years, Mom, and you've always had a powerful, magnetic smile. You’ve always smiled at us children. And I loved it, and I think that’s part of the reason I feel sound and whole as an adult. Part of that is your smile at me, growing up.
But for some reason, I didn’t really follow you in smiling at my husband, because I always looked at myself as a glass half-full person. I live in a family of optimists and I’m the realist. I used to have this identity of tanking out because it wasn’t put in me at all. But I realized all those years of being the realist had made me not a smiler so much.
YOU MAKE IT A HABIT
Nancy: Yes, because if you are a realist, life is not always worth smiling at. Life can be difficult. Life has challenges, so smiling has to go above your circumstances. Yes, it is true. I guess I just always loved to smile. It’s maybe my way of showing love by smiling. I love to smile at my husband, and I love to smile at my children, and, of course, now at my grandchildren. But, yes, I think the first time it’s not quite so natural, but you can make it into a habit.
Pearl: It’s a skill, like any other. Some people are born natural virtuosos. They can pick up a violin and play it. Most people have to learn, and practice, and practice, and practice. For many of us, those of us born not smiling, like maybe you had a natural talent at it, although you've cultivated that. Probably on the skill level, you were an eight already whereas I was a four.
But I have been working on this skill, and getting better and better at it, because the more we work . . . The good thing about skills is that you don’t have to be perfect. So, I haven’t been perfect, but I’ve been reminding myself, and practicing. The more you practice, actually those muscles in your cheeks get stronger. The good ones!
Nancy: Yes. And they make you look so beautiful!
Pearl: Yes, they do! It’s an instant face-lift. As we get older, we start sagging and all of that. You get the jowls, and, oh my goodness! [laughter] But you smile, and it all goes up! We look very attractive when we smile.
Nancy: Yes. Even a very plain person looks amazing when they smile. It transforms people, doesn’t it? Therefore, it transforms us, and it transforms those we are smiling at. In fact, you can be walking down the street, or even walking through an airport, and I guess, I don’t know, maybe sometimes I’m naturally smiling, but sometimes people will just smile at me! And I wonder why they’re smiling at me.
Pearl: It’s because it’s contagious.
Nancy: But when they do smile at me, it’s amazing! Maybe I look great, or maybe there’s something about me. Why are they smiling at me like this? It makes you feel good!
Pearl: I know. That’s so true, Mom. I remember Serene and I discussing this. We were at an airport with you. I think it was it was many years ago. We were going to an Above Rubies retreat or something. We were sitting there, people-watching. You know, that’s so fun.
Nancy: That’s my favorite thing at airports.
Pearl: We were watching all the women pass by. Some were so perfect, you know, an older woman. You could tell they’d done all the things. They were perfectly coiffed. Maybe they’d had a facelift. I don’t know. But you couldn’t pick out the flaw. But there was no smile, and it was sad. It wasn’t attractive.
Then we see our mother walk by, and your head was high, and Mom, you were smiling at the world! Like queen of smiles! We said to ourselves, “What a beautiful, royal woman!” You’ve never had work done; you’ve never done a thing to your face. The way you do make-up, Mom, it’s really funny. It’s funny. You go to watch my mom do make-up. She smacks it on. [laughter]
Nancy: In fact, I say to Colin, my husband, it is absolutely true. I can beat him to get ready. OK, we’re going somewhere. I say, “Darling, you’d better start now, because you take a bit longer than me.” I go into the bathroom, and I take two minutes max. I go “plink” on my nose for a bit of powder, and then it’s “bump, bump, bump, bump,” on my cheeks for a bit of highlight. And “whoop,” do my hair, and I’m done.
Pearl: I know! [laughter]
Nancy: I truly don’t know how to do make-up properly.
Pearl: Serene’s tried to show you so many times and given you make-up. But then you're like, “Ooh, I just don’t know how to do it.” But it’s OK, because your smile makes up for it, and more than makes up for it.
But I started researching, once I got into this “Smile, even if you don’t feel like it.” Like you said, Mom, life is not always easy. Many times, I don’t feel like smiling because there’s a lot of weighty things going on. I thought, “Well, hold on. If I am forcing a smile, is that bad for me? Or is it good for me?” And I always want to find out what the research is.
EVEN A FAKE SMILE WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY
Nancy: OK, what have you found?
Pearl: Wow! What about a fake smile? So, I looked into the research. I’m going to bring a lot of health benefits about a smile, but do they count? Are we going to receive the same health benefits if we’re smiling because we’re forcing ourselves to it?
Well, interestingly, evidence shows that the very act of smiling, even when we don’t feel like it, makes us feel happier. We become healthier and that’s linked to longer life. I want to bring that in. But smiling is so closely linked to the feeling of happiness in our brains that even a fake smile releases endorphins, and we’ll talk about those and all the brain chemicals. Even a fake smile triggers the vagus nerve.
Nancy: Yes, we did a podcast together about the vagus nerve. Actually, you could go back and research. Look up “vagus nerve.” I think we did two sessions on the vagus nerve. So interesting. *
Pearl: This nerve is like a ribbon that stems from your brain right down to the bottom of your spinal cord. My goodness, it’s like an anti-aging elixir in a bottle. It is a healing nerve. No, things turn it off and then turn it on. Many things turn it on—singing, laughing, dancing—smiling is the big one. Some are even a forced smile. But if you’re going to learn and practice like me, a forced smile sometimes, “fake it ‘til you make it,” right?
Now I find myself smiling more naturally. It’s becoming who I am, rather than who I want to be. You’ve got to get it in your eyes. Like Mom, you're a big smiler with your eyes, too. Even if you just do it with your mouth, research, and I’ll share it, has found that there are health benefits. But if you get your eyes involved, look at the difference. My eyes are smiling, but you can’t see it.
Nancy: Yes! Isn’t that amazing!
Pearl: Get your eyes involved, and that gives a more powerful brain . . .
Nancy: But I have such a problem, because I am the worst person for photography. People say, “OK, can you open your eyes a little bit?” But I don’t know how to, because I just squint when I smile. That’s it.
Pearl: Yeah, but it comes across as genuine. Even a forced smile, especially one that includes the eyes, activate those, get them involved in a smile, lowers heart rate, and increases relaxation.
Nancy: The eyes, I’m just thinking about something. Remember when you were young? You had the most . . . you could do the most fluttering eyelids.
Pearl: I know. I remember I could.
Nancy: Do you ever do that?
Pearl: I do it for my grandchildren, to show off. I say, “Can you do this?” [laughter]
Nancy: I wish we had a YouTube video today! You’ve never seen anything like Pearl’s fluttering eyelids!
Pearl: Even a forced smile improves mood. Several studies, including some from the University of Kansas, show that people who held a fake smile during stress-inducing tasks recovered faster, and they had much lower heart rates. They reported feeling more positive than those with neutral expressions.
Now let’s talk about some of these health benefits, whether it’s fully genuine, and we all know that’s good for us, or something that we practice as a skill. Of course, as you said, Mom, they’re great for relationships.
Smiling is the most powerful form of non-verbal communication that we can do!
What do you do to a baby?
Nancy: You smile. And that’s one of the most wonderful things about motherhood. You know, as a mother, one of the things you receive through smiling is oxytocin, isn’t it? And oxytocin is the bliss hormone, the relaxing hormone. It brings such calmness.
But a mother is looking at her little baby, and you can’t help but smile at a baby. And then your baby smiles back at you, and then you want to smile more. Then you get the baby laughing, and when a baby laughs, you're going to laugh your head off! Then the baby laughs, and you have this interaction. You have it off and on all day! And then you think of some poor mothers who are out there in the office at a computer. And you don’t smile at computers.
Pearl: Right. You don’t get any of that oxytocin. You just sit in blue light all day. It’s like you said, Mom. It’s a positive feedback loop. It’s very scientific. It makes you feel good, and the other person feels good, and it leads to stronger relationships.
Everyone’s supposed to smile at a baby, because it’s part of their brain development as they learn to smile back. We are supposed to, whether we feel like it or not, smile at our husbands, at our family members, at our children. When we wake up in the morning, they’ve been loud. You never were bothered by it when we were loud. I was bothered when my sister was loud.
A smile, as you said, is contagious, and this is part of the relationship thing. Smiling lights up a room and makes everyone feel welcome. As you said, it is the universal language of kindness.
When I was in Japan, I couldn’t speak Japanese. I was visiting my daughter Meadow there. I felt so special. I was caring for Meadow’s children, and people would stop. They didn’t know how to communicate with me because I’m obviously from a foreign country. But they did smile, and it warmed my heart. I fell in love with Japan because they smiled.
Nancy: Wow! Well, actually, I was reading recently a study that was done in Japan. It was by this big company. Each morning, when their workers came, they had to smile at this special thing. It was called a “smile-athon.” They had to practice their smiling. The increase in this company’s finance was amazing as they got all their workers smiling.
Pearl: Yeah, that’s amazing. And they probably needed it too, because part of the culture . . . Japan has an amazing culture with so many brilliant things. But they also have a strong culture of saying if someone does anything wrong. There’s a lot of suicide. There’s a lot of pressure. So, probably, that smiling, that puts a lot of that down.
So, health benefits; mood enhancement. When you smile, your brain releases, as you said, Mom, tiny neuropeptides that help lower cortisol. We know what cortisol does. Excess cortisol breeds disease. It puts fat on our tummy. It gets rid of our muscles. So, these endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and yes, oxytocin, improve mood, reduce feelings of anxiety, and yes, even a fake smile does it.
TAKE A DOSE EVERY DAY!
Nancy: I was reading just recently an article. It has this word “DOSE” in it. Have a dose of something. You know how you have to have a dose of medicine? Well, this is the dose of what we’re meant to have.
D-O-S-E stands for Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. That’s your dose. We just need a good dose of those four hormones every day. Actually, they’re all going to be released in smiling, aren’t they?
Pearl: Yes, they are.
Nancy: That’s the kind of dose. If we take that dose every day, we’re not going to need all these other doses of medicine, are we?
Pearl: Right. Well, the vagus nerve is our biggest healer that we can turn on. You can have a whole cupboard of supplements. There’s nothing wrong with supplements. I take a fair share of them myself. But smiling is the foundation. “A grateful heart, a merry heart,” the Bible says, “is good like a medicine” (Proverbs 15:13, 15; and 7:22). Like a medicine!
Now science has also discovered that it radically improves cardiovascular health, lowers heart rate and blood pressure, and the immune-boosting potential is huge. It increases the number of white blood cells which fight off infection and the immune system. And smiling actually, they found, reduces pain. Those endorphins do it. Serotonin reduces pain.
When women lose estrogen, especially around menopause, so many women, and I experienced this myself before I got hormones, experience incredible hip pain. It’s called “hip tendinopathy.” Shoulder and neck pain. I would wake up every day, just feeling like I got hit by a Mack truck. But as estrogen, so does serotonin. Serotonin is a natural pain reliever. Smiling, of course, turns it on.
Nancy: Isn’t it amazing how God has given these natural things to be our healing, and to give us that right attitude, instead of being down in the dumps and having to have antidepressants. Do you know the percentage? I don’t know it myself at the moment, how many women are on antidepressants. I know it’s a very high percentage.
Pearl: It’s very high. I think they’re the most, anti-anxiety and antidepressants, are the most prescribed medication to women.
Nancy: And we shouldn’t ever need any of them!
Pearl: Some people, in serious cases, could maybe do them for a short time. But they have found that the art of brain re-wiring is actually at least as good. In fact, many studies show far better than these medicines. It’s amazing.
And this comes down to this interesting one—longer life. Studies have shown a correlation between smiling and increased life span, because of reduced stress, lower blood pressure, and all of that. But one study found that baseball players who smiled in their photos, rather than just
“mmm,” like that, had a straight mouth, lived an average of seven years longer than those who didn’t. And, according to another study from Wayne State University, it was found that happy individuals, those who smiled more, had a 35 percent higher chance of living longer.
Nancy: Wow! That makes you want to smile, doesn’t it?
Pearl: It does! So, I feel like I’m still baby-stepping into this one. Even yesterday was rough. I felt like I was hit with so many things I had to do! I thought, “Surely, I don’t have to smile throughout this day! Surely there are days when you’re meant to be a realist, Pearl, and I don’t know, just reel it up! Be authentic!”
I remind myself it doesn’t serve me well. I notice sometimes when I think, “Pearl, you’re just allowed a sad face sometimes.” Of course, there’s grief. Jesus wept, even. There are times of grief, and there are times of crying. We’re not saying, be a Pollyanna, and put your head in the sand and pretend nothing bad happens. That’s not what we’re saying. I’m not saying that, and neither are you, Mom.
However, it doesn’t serve us well, me well, I’m talking from my personal experience to go back into that state. That’s really who I am. I could just be myself, because this feels heavy, and it’s OK to walk around heavy. But you know what, I go to sleep, I go to sleep heavy.
Nancy: How do you sleep so well?
Pearl: I didn’t get the serotonin. I didn’t get the presence, the presence of smiling, the gift that it gives me for my health, for my mental well-being. Just because it’s scriptural, it’s jolly biblical. Everyone says these days, “well, we have to express it.” But the Bible doesn’t say that. The Bible says to put off those things and put on something else. Put on joy, put on happiness. It’s really quite contrary to what we’re told.
Nancy: It is. And the Word of God is usually opposite to how we feel. I think even in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:10, it’s totally opposite, really. You look at this here: “Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.”
That’s not a very happy thing at all, to be persecuted, or have people saying things falsely about you. That makes you feel lousy. But what does the Bible say? “Rejoice and be exceeding glad.” The Bible is never normal. It’s always over the top: “exceeding glad.”
In the Greek, it actually means “to jump for joy.” I don’t know whether many of us feel like doing that. But once again, it’s obviously something you have to just do, whether you feel like it or not. This is the thing. God gives us things that release us into joy and into victory. But often they’re the opposite of how we feel, aren’t they?
Pearl: Yes, so true. I always think of this. I think David was maybe a little more glass half-empty, maybe in his nature. Maybe he was a little more like the way I felt, like I was born, just being a realist. But he roused himself.
Nancy: He did. In every psalm, you can be reading through, and you can hardly bear it, all he’s going through. [laughter] And suddenly, he’s rejoicing in the Lord!
Pearl: “Why so downcast, O my soul?”
Nancy: He never leaves a psalm without rising up.
Pearl: Put your hope in God. Bless the Lord. He’s telling himself what to do. That’s with the school of smiling. We’re not going to go through our day suddenly wanting to smile, and wanting to do this, and feeling like it. Of course, we see something funny, we’ll smile, or a little baby, or whatever. But what about in the real times? What about in the hard times? We actually have to coach ourselves and actually practice this skill when we feel least like it, I think.
Nancy: Yes. And that verse you were talking about, it’s here in Psalm 42:5. David’s saying: “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me?” But he doesn’t stay there. Then he goes on to say, but “hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance.” He never stays in that place.
Pearl: And did you hear that? That means “countenance.” That’s your expression of joy. That’s the smile.
Nancy: Yes, yes. That’s amazing. And what does it say in this? This Scripture says: “for the help of His countenance.” Wow. And then, over in the next Psalm, it repeats it again. Psalm 43:5: “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me?” But then, he rises up: “Hope in God: for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance.” This time it’s “the health of my countenance, and my God.” So, it’s all lined up with our health, and our attitudes, and everything, isn’t it?
Pearl: Yeah, I know. I think it’s so amazing. Serene and I deal with the diet industry, the way people eat. We help women eat healthfully. But I think our feelings, many of us, if you live in this society, maybe not you, Mom. Because you've been a very, very healthy eater for a long time, you don’t crave sugary things.
But it’s true that they are a craving for many people. They are a longing, a want. They feel natural. They feel like, “I feel like I need sugar right now. I feel like I want that burger and fries.” Is it good for us? No. The feeling is definitely a deception, because it’s only going to bring ill health.
But so many people think, “Well, it’s called intuitive eating. You feel like it, well, have some. Maybe just a little bit but go with what you're feeling.” But really, when we go with what we’re feeling, we end up in trouble. We have to go with our divine design by our Creator, and He told us what foods are great to eat.
He said, “I give you milk of the goats, the fat of the land, the crop of the field.” He went through all the food groups, and none of them were fandangled and toxic, and filled with all these things. They were just beautiful food groups.
Then I think that this skill, as you said, that we can learn to, and become maybe, perhaps where you are, where you are smiling naturally. And then you are at that point, desiring the healthy food. I guess what I’m saying is, all these things are skills.
Nancy: Yes, they are. And learning to make them a habit of our lives. You started off with how thankfulness and gratitude are a part of this, and I think that’s a huge thing. Like Colossians 2:7 says: “Abounding therein with thanksgiving.” I think all of us are thankful. But how many of us are actually “abounding in thankfulness”? That word in the Greek is perisseuo, and it means, “super-abounding, exceeding, more than enough, over and above.” It’s actually an over-the-top word. It’s not anything normal.
That is the same Greek word that’s actually used when Jesus fed the five thousand. Then they picked up the twelve basketfuls that were left over. In one translation, in one of the gospels, it says, “There were twelve baskets over and above.” That’s the word, that same Greek word of “abounding in thanksgiving.”
So, I have often been challenged by that. I was thinking, where was my level of thanksgiving? Is it twelve basketsfuls, or is it down to one basketful? Where is our level? How often do we say, “Thank you,” even to our husbands? Or to our children? Or to the people who are around us?
We should be constantly thanking them. In fact, digging up to the twelve basketsful level of abounding, over the top with thanksgiving and that’s going to make you smile and that’s going to put you into that lifestyle that God wants you to live.
Pearl: It’s saying here “lands.” Part of my living gratitude was also thanking. Then being thankful to my husband, I decided to thank him, like you said, for every little thing he did. Because I had always thought, “Well, hold on. We’re both doing things here, and I’m not thanked for everything I do, like cooking dinner. He’s not, ‘Oh, thank you!’” No.
But I thought, “OK, let me just see what can change here.” And suddenly, he remembered everything. You know what I realized, because I used to think, “Well, my husband’s not really the domestic kind. He takes care of other things. He’s really good at those things, but he’s not really great around the house and chores and stuff.”
Until I started thanking him for every little thing he’d done, I realized I have the most amazing, helper around the home! I started to almost feel like I don’t do enough, compared to what my husband does. Once I started thanking him, my . . .
Nancy: Then you noticed how much he was doing.
Pearl: I noticed it!
Nancy: Wow! That is so true.
KEEP IN A STATE A GRATITUDE
Pearl: At one point, he said, “You know, you can stop thanking me for everything I do.” [laughter] But I said, “You don’t like it?” He said, “No, I like it,” but I think he just felt really embarrassed. But I continued, because it keeps me in a state of gratitude. And I don’t want to ever take it for granted.
Nancy: Yes. That is so good. I’m like, “Thank you!” I’m reminded to start thanking Colin even for more things.
Pearl: But I used to think, “Well, it’s his job to take out the trash. I do this, things like that.” It doesn’t matter whose job it is. It doesn’t matter.
Nancy: I know. We still should be so grateful!
Pearl: I said, “Thank you for taking out the trash. I really hate it. And thank you for understanding that I hate it.” And then if there’s a bug to kill, “Thank you for doing that. You know I don’t like that. Thanks for always taking care of me. I feel like such a princess.” These things make whatever they do to him, and I know it does a lot. But it does amazing things for me, and our relationship.
Nancy: Oh, thank you, Pearlie. And precious ladies, we’re all going to be reminded today, aren’t we, to just look at our husbands, and smile at them, and thank them for everything we can think of. And our children too. Wow! You can just start thinking, “What a glorious life you're going to have!”
Oh, and one little thing at the end. One thing also I love to do every day, and I never want to miss out, is to thank the Lord for His great salvation that He gave to us. I love to remember to thank Him every day.
So, oh Pearlie, thank you for coming. It was so wonderful. Do you want to pray for the ladies?
Pearl: Sure.
“Father, thank You first for being our Father, for giving us good things. Every good and precious thing comes from You. And You delight to make us delighted. You’re a good, good Father.
“I just ask that You’ll help us be aware of all Your goodness, that You would be aware that we would become more and more aware of how we represent Your goodness to us, to other people, the ones we love the most. Because sometimes they’re the ones who receive our frowns when they should receive our smiles. No matter if they’ve been perfectly, really imperfect at the time.
“But I just pray that You will set this in our hearts, that we won’t forget that we will continue reminding ourselves daily, and that we’ll grow into women who live in gratitude and express that on our faces. Amen.”
Nancy: Amen.
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
Transcribed by Darlene Norris
DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.
“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”
DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.
MAKE SURE OTHER WIVES AND MOTHRS ARE ENCOURAGED TOO.
CATCH UP ON FAMILY MARRIAGES
Kahoru came to live with us as an Above Rubies helper. She came from Japan. Although she is half Japanese and half Australia, she lived most of her life in Japan. Japanese is her first language, and she thinks in Japanese. Anyway, while she was with us, Pearl’s oldest son, Bowen, fell in love with her. That was not hard to do. She is such a beautiful girl. They are now married with three lovely children, Finn, Jax, and beautiful Priscilla Belle, named after Pearl Priscilla.
Then Kahoru’s brother came for a visit to see her and while he was here, he fell in love with Molly Harrison. Pearl’s other son, Noble, is married to Megan Harrison, Molly’s sister. So Riku and Molly became part of the Barrett family too.
Then another sister came to be an Above Rubies helper. Her name was Pipi. Kahoru tried to matchmake her while she was here, but it didn’t work out and she is now leading a YOUTH WITH A MISSION base in Japan.
Then another sister came to visit. This was Satorey and she lived with Pearl and Charlie and became the chef at the Trim Healthy Mama café as she had previously trained in bakery. Since then, another son of Erin Harrison fell in love with Satorey, so she is now married to Michael Harrison! So the Barretts and the Harrisons are quite joined together. But . . . there are twelve children in the Higurashi family!
Wow, can you put all that together?
* THE VAGUS NERVE, TWO PODCASTS WITH PEARL
120. THE DISEASE BUSTING, ANTI-AGING MIRACLE PILL! But it’s not actually a pill!
My daughter, Pearl (Pearl Barrett of Trim Healthy Mama,) joins me today to talk about a most exciting subject. This “special something” (check in to find out) will improve your physical and mental health, transform your marriage, liberate your mothering, your home life, and your whole attitude to life.
121. MORE ABOUT THE VAGUS NERVE
My daughter, Pearl Barrett, joins me again today as we talk more about the vagus nerve, the longest nerve in your body. It is also called the Wanderer as it wanders throughout your body to affect your brain, gut, heart, and lungs, etc. It also affects your whole attitude to life. Find out more today about how activating this nerve can revolutionize your life.
MORE PODCASTS WITH PEARL TO CHECK OUT
29. INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE
Introducing my daughter, Pearl Barrett of Trim Healthy Mama. We talk together about grandmothering and intimacy in marriage (one of Pearl’s favorite subjects—and mine too!). Are you going through some sticky times in your marriage? Don’t give up. Don’t miss the reward time! The end is better than the beginning.
210. THE LAND OF MOTHERHOOD
I have my daughter, Pearl (of Trim Healthy Mama) with me today. Pearl shares her story of being a “half-glass person” to becoming a totally “full-glass person”! You’ll hear interesting scientific information and discoveries from Pearl in this podcast that you may have never heard before. You won’t want to miss it!
YOU MAY LIKE TO KNOW THE PODCASTS WITH SERENE
40. HOW CAN WE CHANGE THE WORLD? Part 6
I am joined today by my daughter, Serene Allison of Trim Healthy Mama. We begin the subject of not only being on the side of life but adamantly advocating for a culture of life.
41. HOW CAN WE CHANGE THE WORLD? Part 7
Are we horrified by abortion? Serene joins me again as we continue discussing the preciousness of life. What is Satan’s trio of destruction? We take a stand against abortion. What about contraception and sterilization?
42. HOW CAN WE CHANGE THE WORLD? Part 8
Facing obstacles to embracing life. Serene shares testimonies of the obstacles and difficulties she faced in embracing life.
100. HOW CAN YOU ENJOY INTIMACY IN YOUR MARRIAGE WITH BABIES AND TODDLERS AROUND?
Today my daughter, Serene Allison, joins me to talk about a hot subject. We discuss how you can keep intimacy alive in your marriage even when you have babies and littles ones and you feel overwhelmed with children. And we don’t forget the older women who are sometimes petering out!
211.THE LAND OF MOTHERHOOD, Part 22
Serene shares how she has learned in her own personal experiences to get out of the “grumps” and into the “glory.” She shares how she has learned to CAST OFF “the old man” (“the dead man full of maggots” she calls it!) and “put on the new man” as she mothers in her home. Serene is a mother of 14 children with eight still living in the home. You will be revolutionized as you listen to this LIFE CHANGING revelation.
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE PODCASTS WITH EVANGELINE?
6. PROCLAIMING MOTHERS
You will be excited and inspired as Evangeline, my evangelistic and extrovert daughter, joins me for this session. As we read the Scriptures we constantly face “the tension of truth.” We often notice two apparently contradictory things, and yet because the Word of God is divinely inspired, both are true! We cannot hold one over the other. We face this as we read Psalm 68:11 where it talks about the “female proclaimers.” Does this mean women are to leave their homes to become preachers and pastors? What about the other Scriptures that reveal God’s plan for women to embrace home and mothering? How does it fit together? Listen to this podcast to find the answer.
85: UNAPOLOGETICALLY UNASHAMED AND UNOFFENDABLE!
Evangeline joins me today for a world-changing episode on how to live unashamedly for Christ and bring God’s life-giving power wherever you go—even on a cruise ship!
117. ACCIDENTS, DEATH, LIFE, AND THE GOODNESS AND GLORY OF GOD
Evangeline joins me today as we talk about these things. I can’t even tell you in print. You’ll have to listen to find out.
212. THE LAND OF MOTHERHOOD, Part 23
Another revolutionary podcast today with my daughter, Evangeline. She shares her story of mothering her young children in a small one room “hut” with no running water and cooking outside. Eventually, they had two rooms where she and her husband slept in the kitchen. No room for children’s beds so they all slept on the floor in the main room. She tells how she learned to embrace her situation with joy and make it fun and how she has learned to CHOOSE JOY in every situation. Be ready for a challenge when Vange gets going!