PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 364: THE UNBELIEVABLE REVELATION OF GOD'S HEART FOR YOUR HOME, PART 5
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 364: THE UNBELIEVABLE REVELATION OF GOD'S HEART FOR YOUR HOME, PART 5
We conclude this series today by speaking more about marriage. It is not enough to love your husband; it is imperative that you love marriage. Do you love marriage as God ordained it? What about submission? We discover that it is a beautiful word.
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies. I think today will be my last in this series of talking about God’s wonderful revelation of the heart of the home. Last time we were talking about marriage, holy courting, holy marriage, and holy mothering. I’d like to say one or two more things about holy marriage.
There’s a quote that I love by John Piper. He says,
“There has never been a generation whose view of marriage is high enough.”
I do love that quote because I believe it is so true. I don’t think there has yet been a generation who really understands the true and highest value that God has put upon marriage.
We were talking last week about how Hebrews 13:4 says that “Marriage is honorable,” but it really means that marriage is very precious. It’s very dear to the heart of God and should be to us as well. I have often spoken to women, and when I’m speaking about motherhood, I will often say, “It’s not enough to love your children. To really live in the fullness of motherhood that God has planned, you need to also love motherhood.”
IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE
There’s a big difference between loving your children and loving motherhood. Every mother loves her children. She would die for her children. Her heart beats for her children. But not every mother loves the career of motherhood. I do believe that that’s a little secret, that when we embrace motherhood, as well as loving our children, and we love our career of motherhood, it makes all the difference.
But recently, I have been thinking that the same principle applies to marriage. You can love your husband, and yet not truly love marriage as God has ordained it. Here again, I think it’s a secret.
I do believe that we not only need to love our spouse, but we need to love marriage.
God loves marriage because He ordained it and because it is a picture of Christ in the church. It is so powerful and it’s so precious to God. He loves it.
But often, we don’t really love marriage. We don’t really even perhaps like how God has ordained marriage. Some of the things He says about marriage in His Word we don’t really like. We don’t think it fits in with us.
Oh, yes, we love our husbands. But I do believe that when we come to love marriage, and see the value of marriage, and look upon it as precious, that we’ll even come to love our husbands more. I think that is really true. When you value marriage, and you don’t treat it lightly, but you put a high value upon it, well, it makes all the difference in how you enjoy your marriage.
I think that there are a few little things here we can talk about. One of the things that not many people like about marriage (especially in our current day in such a feminist society), not many people like the word “submission.” Oh goodness me! That’s a dreaded word. You don’t even talk about it. It’s amazing. You can’t even talk about it in Christian circles today.
Of course, I will agree there are many husbands who have totally spoiled the image of marriage and submission in marriage. They’re men who want to take their authority and make sure their wives submit. But there is absolutely no Scripture in the whole of the Word of God where it tells a man, or it tells a husband, to make his wife submit. There is not one verse in the whole Bible.
The Scriptures, where it talks about submission are Scriptures where it is from the wife’s side, where she voluntarily, from her own heart submits to her husband, and to his covering, and to his provision, and to his person. And that’s what it’s all about.
It’s actually a very beautiful word. The word in the Greek is hupotasso. Two words in the Greek. The first one, hupo, meaning “to come under, to put under, to be under obedience.” The second word is tasso. It's a military word, and it means “to arrange in an orderly manner, to assign to a certain position.”
I’d love to give you some examples of where the word hupo is used, Remember, it means “to come under.” Now, a load of women today can’t even bear the thought of coming under their husbands. Oh goodness me! They just don’t want to be . . . that’s not even in their psyche. But hupo is a beautiful word.
It’s used in the story of the centurion who came to Jesus because he wanted his daughter to be healed. He said, “I am a man under authority.” He was a centurion, so he had one hundred men under him. But he also had those in authority over him, and he accepted that. He told Jesus, he didn’t actually say, “I am a commander of one hundred men. I am a centurion.” No, he said, “I am a man under authority.” He wanted to put himself under Jesus’ authority as he asked Him to bring healing to his daughter.
Although God has given the final authority of the home and the family to the husband, God created the man first. He is the head of creation. God has made him to be the head. But that doesn’t mean to say that we, as wives, don’t have authority. Yes, we do! God has given authority to us as women.
“Do you know what? I think I took my Bible down to the office again. Do you mind getting it for me Esther? It would be on my desk.”
Now, when Esther comes back, she’s my Above Rubies helper who is recording for us today, when she comes back, I am going to read a Scripture I want to give you. In the meantime, let me give you some other Scriptures about hupo.
We see here the centurion. He was a man under authority, “under,” the word hupo.
We see this word also in Matthew 23:37, where Jesus was looking out over Jerusalem, and He cried out from His heart. “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!”
Jesus is saying, “Oh, if only, of only you would hear My words. If only you would come to Me, just like little chickens come under the wings of their mother hen.” That’s the word hupo. It’s a beautiful word. It’s about coming under the protection just as little chickens will run under their mother’s wings to be protected.
I remember reading a beautiful story, well, it was a sad story, because of a fire that went through a whole forest and whatever. At the end, they were going through the place, and a fireman found this hen. It was all charred and burned and completely dead. He just kicked the hen. And then, out from underneath those wings of now this burned hen came all these little chickens! She had saved their lives. She had covered them over with her wings and saved their lives.
We also see this word in 1 Corinthians 10:1, where it says that God brought His people through the wilderness. He had a pillar of fire above them at night to keep them warm. Then they were under the cloud during the day, to keep them from the burning sun. Under the cloud, that’s the word hupo again. So, it was God’s beautiful protection, to protect them during the hot, scorching days in the wilderness. It’s a beautiful word, isn’t it, ladies?
Mark 4:32 talks of the little grain of mustard seed and how it grows up to become a great tree that shoots out its branches, and all the fowls in the earth come and lodge under the shadow of it. There’s the word hupo again, hupo, which is submitting and coming under. So, the fowls and the birds of the air come under the shade of this beautiful, big tree.
I hope that you’re getting a glimpse of the beauty of this word. It’s not some dreaded word. It’s a beautiful word. It’s a voluntary word, as I said before, where we voluntarily submit to our husband’s authority, because God has created him to be the head, but also our covering, our protection, our provision. And he’s the one who’s hovering over us.
The only command that God gives the husband is to love his wife as his own body. We have to come into the whole truth, which is the truth God gives to a husband, to love his wife as his own body. And the wife who will submit to her husband for the blessing of being under him, and under his protection.
Then I was saying, of course, that although God has given to husbands that final authority of the home, because God has put that responsibility upon him, to lead and provide and protect. He has such a great responsibility. But God has also given authority to us too.
Now my Bible’s back here. How could I ever do without my Bible? Goodness me. So, here we go to 1 Timothy 5:14. I found the Scripture. Here God says, He’s speaking to the women now: “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”
That word there, that phrase, “guide the house,” in the Greek is two Greek words. It’s a Greek word for “house, home, family,” which is oikos. Then the other Greek word, and I’ve just forgotten it at the moment because I didn’t have my notes with me. But it’s a word that means “to manage, to have the control.” It’s really a very strong word, the word that means “total authority.” (See below).
But where is this authority that we have? It’s in the home. It’s to take the management of the home. God has put within us that desire to have management, to have authority. We see that right back in the very beginning where God speaks the very first word that He ever speaks to mankind. That is: “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, subdue, and take dominion.”
God didn’t stop at “be fruitful.” No. He continued, and He said, “I want you to subdue My world, and take dominion of it for Me, and make it wonderful, and beautiful, and create things.” Because God created us to be creative. Because we’re made in His image there is within us that thing that wants to take dominion, and God has given us a sphere of dominion. That is our home.
YOU ARE QUEEN OF YOUR HOME
In fact, our home, and our garden, because a home is a home . . . it’s the Garden of Eden. That was the type. It’s a garden; it’s a home; it’s our whole environment, our little, small plot, whatever we have. God gives us that and our family to take dominion. I believe that we, as women, are to be the queen of our home. God wants us to be the queen, taking management of the home.
Of course, it’s sad that some women don’t have very much to take dominion of. Maybe they stop at two children. Then they send them off to school. What have they got to do? They’ve got go and find dominion somewhere else. But as we embrace having children, and maybe you're homeschooling children, and maybe some of you whose children are older, you’re maybe now doing a home business in your home. There are lots to take dominion over and manage. God has given you that sphere.
But we also see that God is very concerned also about this sphere where we take dominion. We go to Jude, the second to last book of the Bible. We read here, Jude verse six: “And the angels which kept not their first estate, but left their own habitation, he hath reserved an everlasting change unto darkness, unto the judgement of the great day.”
We see here how it was a certain company of angels who were not satisfied with their sphere, their habitation, the place where God had put them, because God has put every type of people, and every animal, and even all creation, in a certain sphere. Even the rolling oceans, and the breakers, God has put boundaries on them so that they stop. It’s miraculous, really. Why doesn’t the sea just keep going over and over and over, just coming over the land? No, God has put boundaries.
It tells us that in His Word. He has boundaries for all of creation. He has boundaries even for us. And He had boundaries for His angels. Sadly, these angels did not keep to the estate, or the place, or the habitation, that God had given to them. They burst forth out of it. We see judgement for them.
God has given us dominion. Yes, He’s given us our home. That’s our place of dominion where we’re free. We don’t even have to go out and work for some employer. No, we are free with our own domain to make it whatever we want it to be, and to raise our children in the way we want to raise them. So, God has given us that freedom and that dominion for us.
But our husbands still have that overall headship over us. It’s really a protection. I’m so glad that I’ve had a husband who has protected me. I have found great blessing in being in the sphere where God has placed me and under that protection and covering of my husband.
Well, we were using the word “beautiful,” saying it was a beautiful word, the word hupo, because of the beautiful protection that we receive. Let’s go to another Scripture, shall we?
We can go to 1 Peter 3, another passage that God has given us, especially to women. 1 Peter 3 talks about wives whose husbands are not walking in the ways of the Lord and how they can even be won to the Lord by the conduct of their lives.
It goes on in verse 4 . . . don’t worry about all the wearing of gold and putting on of apparel and so on. Well, that quote doesn’t mean that we go around naked. We wear clothes, but you don’t make that your whole life. That’s not your main concern.
1 Peter 3:4: “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time . . .”
Actually, there’s a translation that says “once upon a time” like a fairy story. Once upon a time, way, way, back. Peter is writing this about 2000 years ago, and he’s talking about the “once upon a time” then! But he was saying, “OK, here it is. After this manner, in the old time: “the holy women (these were the holy women) also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
Now, let’s look at some other translations of that Scripture, shall we? Actually, it’s interesting. I had one lady email me once. She said, “Nancy, the word “obey” is not in the Bible.” Well, she can’t read the Bible very much, because we just read the word “obey,” didn’t we? Anyway, let me find these Scriptures. They are different translations of 1 Peter 3:5.
The BECK translation: “This is how, long ago, the holy women, who trusted in God, used to make themselves beautiful. They submitted to their husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him Lord.” Notice the word “beautiful.” All these translations use the word “beautiful” which comes from that word “adorning.” It means “to beautify.”
The Holman Translation: “For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God, also beautified themselves in this way, by submitting to their own husbands.” Interesting, isn’t it, that the Bible says that this is how we can make ourselves beautiful? Wow, that’s amazing, isn’t it?
The New Century Version: “In this same way, the holy women who lived long ago and followed God, made themselves beautiful, yielding to their own husbands.”
The New Living Translation: “This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God, and accepted the authority of their husbands.”
The Barclay Version: “This was beauty, with which, once upon a time, consecrated women whose hopes were set on God, adorned themselves. They accepted the authority of their husbands. It was in this that Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Master.” That’s just a few translations where it talks about how submission is . . . it’s not only a beautiful thing, but it makes us beautiful.
It talks about Sarah. Now Sarah, the Bible tells us what a beautiful woman she was physically. The Bible calls her “beautiful.” There’s a number of women in the Bible who are called “beautiful.” God loves beauty and He talks about beautiful women. The Bible says there are some women whose beauty was of form and face. They had beautiful faces, and beautiful figures. Even the Bible tells us that they had beautiful figures. Wow! That’s amazing, isn’t it?
God is not ashamed of beauty. He loves beauty. But Sarah also had beauty in the inward parts too. We see that example of when Abraham asked her to call herself his sister, because she was his half-sister. But that was to save him from being killed, because she was such a beautiful woman. Down there in Egypt, he knew he could be killed for her.
Of course, we know how that even the Pharoah of the land was taken by her beauty and took her into his harem. But, of course, God protected Sarah. It’s amazing, you know. Sarah could have said, “No way! I’m not going to do that, thank you! You can just look after yourself!” But, no, she submitted to her husband. What does it say here, in 1 Peter 3? “And she trusted God.”
There are some times when you think, “Oh, goodness me, I don’t know whether my husband’s doing the right thing.” Sometimes it’s a situation where there’s nothing else you can do but submit to your husband. But ladies, you have a greater recourse. You can submit to your husband, BUT TRUST GOD, because God is in control. As you do your part, He will move.
He moved on Sarah’s part, and the Bible says that all these things happened to Pharoah “because of Sarah” (Genesis 12:17). The same thing happens again with the king of Gerar, king Abimelech. Once again, all the women in the house began to get these terrible things. God saves Sarah again. The Word says in Genesis 20:18) “because of Sarah.” Just three words. “Because of Sarah” God moved in amazing and incredible ways.
So, that’s just one little part of marriage that many people don’t like today. Yet, it is such a beautiful thing. Today, we have so many egalitarian marriages, even in the Christian world. They don’t believe in the roles that God gave.
That’s something that I do believe is very important, even in understanding marriage, that God gave our husbands a different role than He gave us. God gave him the role to provide for the family and to work hard. He’s got to take that responsibility upon himself. He has to protect the family, and provide for the family, and cover the family, and lead the family in God’s ways. He has so many responsibilities.
OUR ROLES DOVETAIL TOGETHER
God has given to us the anointing to nurture and to nourish the family. We are the maternal ones of the family. As we each embrace our role, they dovetail so beautifully together.
I have read studies about egalitarian marriages sexually, and it’s very interesting. This study says that couples where the husband does the wifely chores have intimacy 1.5 fewer times per month than complementarian marriages. It goes on to say that the more masculine jobs the husband does, the greater the wife’s sexual satisfaction. No matter how well they communicate, and how much he helps with the housework, she doesn’t find her husband sexually exciting. The less gender differentiation, the less sexual desire.
Another study says that husbands who did plenty of traditionally male chores reported a 175 percent higher frequency of sex than those who did none. Yes. Maybe your husband is not really very domesticated. He’s not helping you with all the things around the house. Well, look, don’t worry about it. He’s a man! God didn’t give him the management of the home. He gave it to you!
Now, of course, it’s so wonderful when your husband, out of love for you, will help you with bathing the babies, or doing the dishes, or whatever. He does it because he loves you. Thank him for it, and love him for it, because it’s not actually his job. He has a different job. That is your job. But when we embrace our roles, we do get the blessings that God wants to give us.
Oh, just one more little thing to give you while we’re on this. Ephesians 5:24: “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ (hupotasso) so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”
Colossians 3:18: “Wives, submit yourselves (hupotasso) “unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.”
We can say, “Oh, wow, do I have to do that?” But listen, just listen, dear ladies.
1 Corinthians 15:28, and this is talking about the godhead, about God, about Christ. “And when all things shall be subdued unto Him (that’s unto God, hypotasso) then shall the Son also Himself be subject unto Him that put all things under Him, that God may be all in all.”
Hupotasso is used three times in that Scripture where the Son is wanting to submit everything to God, and God just submits everything back to the Son. Then the Son gives it all back to God. They vie for submission because it is such a beautiful and glorious thing. And what does the Word say? “That this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.”
OK, our time is going. Let’s just have a look at our next point about holiness. Holy courting, holy marriage, holy mothering. Yes, and a holy home. I love this verse and let me read it to you.
You won’t even know what it’s talking about. Hebrews 9:1: “Then verily the first covenant had also ordinances of divine service, and a worldly sanctuary.” That’s King James language. Can I give it to you in another translation?
A HOLY PLACE IN THIS WORLD FOR THE ETERNAL GOD
J. B. Phillip’s Translation: “And (it was talking about the temple, of course) And it had a sanctuary, a holy place in this world for the eternal God.” Oh, I love those words, dear ladies. What it’s saying is that God established a temple, a sanctuary, where God dwelt in the Holy of Holies. It was a holy place for God in this world. Now, we don’t have a temple any longer. We are now the temples of the Holy Spirit, and God wants our homes to become the temples where He can dwell, and where it is a holy place for God in this world.
What an amazing vision, dear mother! To make your home a holy place for God in this world. That’s what Christian homes are meant to be. This is what holy homes are meant to be. What should I say? The homes of believers . . . we are meant to be creating holy homes in the middle of this sin-sick world. You can have depravity all around you, but you are making a holy home in this world for God. What an amazing vision!
Now, when we think of our home, we need to think of more than just the walls of our home, and inside our home. We’ve got to think of outside, because the Bible talks about it. When it was talking about the temple, we go to Ezekiel 43:12: “This is the law of the house; Upon the top of the mountain the whole limit thereof round about shall be most holy. Behold, this is the law of the house.”
God is saying here, “It’s not just your home that you have to keep holy, it’s outside, all around.” Your backyard. You may just have a little, wee backyard. You may have an acreage. But whatever you have that belongs to you, you’ve got to make that holy. God says: “The whole limit round about shall be holy.” It’s not just the inside.
I notice, I’ve had to do that. Sometimes things can happen outside your home, even with other people who come in. We have a volleyball court in our home, not in, I mean outside. It’s such a blessing. I love watching the young people play volleyball. It’s so fantastic.
But there have been times when different people have come into play with all our young people around here. Then I heard music that doesn’t really sound very holy. I’ve had to go out and say, “Sorry. We only have Christian music here.” And then sometimes, I’ve even heard some Christian music that didn’t really sound very Christian. So, I’ve had to say, “Come on, just get something that sounds a bit better than that.” Because I have a responsibility, not only for my home, but outside my home, to keep it all holy.
We have that Scripture also in Exodus 13:7. This is at Passover time. Those of you who are Jewish or Messianic who are listening, every Passover time you’ll go through your home to make sure there’s no leaven during the week of unleavened bread. Most probably you’ll go and put some crumbs on the windowsill. So, if you're taking your children round, you’ll say to them, “Oh, wow! There’s some leaven! We’ve got to get rid of it!” Because in the Bible, leaven speaks of sin.
So, during the week of unleavened bread, we have bread with no leaven or yeast in it at all. So, you’ll gather up, and sweep up those crumbs, and any little bits of leavened bread that could be lying around. Your children are getting an understanding of it, because you're getting rid of it all.
The week of unleavened bread, the Feast of Unleavened Bread, Passover time, is all speaking of Christ, who was our Passover who was pure, without blemish. There was no leaven in Him. We have to get rid of leaven during that week. This Scripture says: “Unleavened bread shall be eaten seven days, and there shall be no leavened bread being seen with thee.”
It doesn’t just say in your house. It says: “Neither shall there be leaven seen with thee in all thy quarters.” Right to the very end of your borders. Here we see again that God is interested in more than just the house, but right to the edge of our borders. He wants us to keep it holy. Amen?
OK, dear ladies. We are finishing now these four similarities that we read in the Word that we have with Heaven, which is holy, the Holy of Holies, and our homes. God also wants them to be holy places for God in this sinful world. What a great vision we have!
Let me pray.
“Dear Father, I thank You with all my heart. Oh, we praise You, that You are our God. You have given us Your Scriptures, filled with wisdom, to show us the way that You want us to walk. Lord, You show us that You want us to have holy homes and holy marriages.
“Help us, Lord God. Oh Father, we pray that You will expose all sin that’s lurking around, and that You will help us as mothers who You’ve given the great part, to manage our homes. Lord God, that we will seek to make holy homes for You. That Lord, we will keep holy marriages for You. We ask this in the Name of Jesus. Amen.”
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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Transcribed by Darlene Norris
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GUIDE THE HOUSE
The phrase “guide the house” is the word oikodespoteo. The Topical Lexicon reveals that it comes from two Greek words: oikos meaning “the home, the family” and despotes meaning “master or lord, to manage and rule the home.”